Man, today really fucking sucked. I usually never have shitty days, but I felt so miserable, and I'm sure it showed. I felt so distant from everything and everyone, as if I couldn't even talk. It was a hard day.

But then I got home. Relieved, I took a breath, and sat down and read for a little. It made the day a bit better. After that, I went to MYO (if you haven't already heard me talking about it because I never shut up about all the after school music I do because that's what takes up so much of my time, MYO is the Metropolitan Youth Orchestra and I sing in the Youth Chorale. Boys, if you're interested come join!). And man, something just clicked tonight. Immediately as soon as we started rehearsing, I felt immensely better. There was this intense sense of togetherness, connectedness. There was passion,  pure joy for the fact that choral music exists, and that we can get together for two and a half hours every week and express ourselves through it. I've realized that singing to me is such a relief to have, it makes me feel so much better. And to sing with other people that care about it as much as you do...it's truly a gift. As I look for words to describe how I feel about it, I realize there aren't any. I mean, I feel even better after a choir rehearsal or really nailing a piece than I do after nailing a bassoon solo or not screwing up in orchestra.

Just, wow.


It feels so wonderful to have something like that. Really.