I've recently come to realize that I'm overbooked, despite the fact that I have had friends try and convince of me this fact many times over. It had never gotten through my thick skull. "I can do it," I always repeat, "I've got everything under control," I'd say, yawning and putting my head down during class from lack of sleep the night before. But the truth?
My life is spinning out of control.
And that now makes sense to me. I get it. But more importantly, I don't understand why I do this to myself. Is there some explanation for this? Why can't I say "no"? Is this some odd case of gluttony? The worst thing about this is I can't actually muster up the courage to quit any of this. It would leave me feeling so much remorse, I wouldn't be able to sleep at night.
How do I fix this Mess I've gotten myself into? I guess for right now, I have to hold my head up high and bear through it. Bold Optimism.
You're overbooked? What do you do?
ReplyDeleteIf you're wondering why you have difficulty taking control of something, you have to take it from a psychological point of view.
ReplyDeleteLast year I had the same problem as you. I took 6 music lessons a week, plus 2 classes, plus the school musical. Looking back I don't even know how I did it. But more importantly, why did I do it?
Well after much deliberation I realized that I had low self-esteem and I needed music lessons to escape my harsh life at home and my loneliness at school and in general. Also, I thought I needed to "train for the future", to do as much as I can to make sure I would be a great musician.
One day, my guitar teacher knocked something into my head. He told me I was doing so much stuff, that I couldn't focus on anything. All my work to do extra to get ahead was in fact putting me behind. The effort to be better at music was something I had to do on my own, on my own time. I just had to sit down and fucking practice.
Now, I'm not saying this is your issue (I sure hope not). What I am saying is there's a reason why you overbook yourself. Frankly, you know what it is already. You just don't want to admit it.
I'm going out on a limb here, but it seems like your issue is your guilt. You feel like your have an obligation to these things that you do and quitting them would hurt people's feelings.
Honestly though, that's not important. You really have to be good to yourself FIRST. You are not obligated to any individual, nor are you obligated to any sort of activities. If you can't handle it, then it's not their problem. And you know what? I'm sure they'd understand, because everyone knows what it's like to be overworked. Especially for people teaching high school students, stuff like this is pretty common.
Don't let others control your life. It's YOUR life.
I've been overbooked for years.. I grew up that way. Especially now, I live between practices and appointments and lessons and meetings, and I've grown to accept it and use it.
ReplyDeleteBeing overscheduled is really a good thing as long as you can handle it and do everything to its full potential. Ask questions, take notes, and listen. Be alive and be prepared. Everything becomes an opportunity and every second is a step forward. You end up learning a lot, meeting wonderful new people, and with every minute, you better yourself.
That's what has always driven me. Every second of my time, I'm doing something in my practice. Every moment is important and every second I immerse myself more in my art and the person I want to be. I'm using the time to better myself, so "overscheduling", in my mind, is the best thing one can do. As long as you can handle and work hard, your life becomes more rich and beautiful.
but make sure what you're doing is making you happy.. and it's what you want to do. Or there's no reason to do it.
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